Ok so I signed myself up to take part in a lip sync battle for a local charity in the Plaza this bank holiday Sunday. It sounded like a great idea at the time. My sister’s and I decided yeah sure why not, it’s for a good cause, we have each other for back up and it will be a good laugh.
Now I am not disputing all the above is true, it is all for a good cause for Buncrana’s own children in need, the training has been great fun and I know it will be a great night. BUT I am so nervous I actually have anxiety today thinking about it especially as we have dress rehearsals tonight.
I can’t give too much away but we obviously have to dress up, dance and lip sing in front of judges and an audience of up to 800. I honestly am freaking out. As soon as I put on my costume I felt ten sizes bigger than I actually am and just feel like mutton dressed as lamb. I’m trying to tell myself “its ok” “it’s for charity” and trying to convince myself there is people wearing worse and nobody in the audience will be judgemental! IT’S FOR CHARITY!!!
Why do I feel like this? Why should I be ashamed of my figure and how i look? I’m no size 6 super model, not even a size 12 for that matter but I’m me. I have all me own teeth, a full head of hair (few greys) I have a good tan and my husband fancys the bones of me. Even knowing that, I still think oh how I wish I could be thinner, sexier and over all better but I’m not, most days I’m fine I actually embrace my curves. Not today I’m paranoid as sin..Maybe one day I will be skinny! But not today and not this weekend. Anyway I think every skinny, fat & in between size lady all think they are too heavy or not perfect. Hats off to anyone that doesn’t feel this way.
Should I feel so paranoid? Will people think “The shape of that” “why would she wear such a thing” or am I making a mountain out of a molehill and working myself up too much. I can’t help it. It’s the way society is people ridicules everyone on their looks, what they wear and how they behave. Also on that I am Irish, for a nation that’s doesn’t give a fuck we fairly feel the shame and embarrassment. Irish people get shamed very easily.
It is what it is though, I signed myself up to it and have been practicing my fat ass off with my sister’s and what will be will be. I actually can’t wait to see the show, the rehearsals are great craic and the other acts are amazing. There has been so much hard work put in to this show it’s unreal, from the organisers, dance tutor, stage production team and acts. It’s going to brilliant. Funny to see if nothing else.
Monday I’ll share a picture and maybe a video of our performance see what you think.
Jade the farmer’s wife